PARRY HOTTER AND THE DISAPPEARING LOCH.

October - a time of mists and mellow fruitfulness.

It is also a time of weird and wonderful goings on, as the world begins a long retreat into the cold, iron hard winter.

Now, I have to confess that I know next to nothing about Harry Potter. I have never read the books, nor have I seen the films and I do not believe that my life has been irrevocably blighted by this omission. However, in this modern age, it is impossible to escape completely from the horrible nexus of commercialisation and fairy tales.

So here we go with the tale of Parry Hotter and the disappearing loch.

It all began when this little crew of would be witches and wizards gathered together in a car park, that thought it was a boat, while, in fact, they should have been on platform 9 and 3/4.

Luckily a train pulls into the platform to give them a clue. The platform is beside a sunken garden. As all good wizards should know, Herbology is basically botany for witches and wizards and plants aren't just plants - they can have all sorts of powers. In this case, the Mimbulus Mimbletonia plant spurts out the news that Vaaloch has disappeared and only the witches and wizards can save the day.

With a wistful last look at the Waghorts Express, our heroes set out to find the Vaaloch and determine why it has disappeared and, more importantly, who made it go and for what foul reason. 

They didn't get far. It took them a little while, but they soon realised that they had forgotten one of their number - Arabella Figg! She was a squib who had been looking out for Parry since he was a child living with his nasty uncle and aunt!

It was while waiting for Arabella to park her broomstick, that they noticed the Boathouse belltower. This had the function of notifying boats of the closeness of Waghorts Castle and, more importantly, directing people across the great lake of Vaaloch.

(In the real world, if such a thing truly exists, this is St Columba's church in Boat of Garten. The village was not really a village until the railway came, so the church is surprisingly young, having been completed in 1900. The turret housing the bell was built at an angle to the line of the roof ridge, purely for decoration and very successful it is too.

The village name derives from the fact that a ferry boat was used to transport people and goods across the Spey at the confluence with the River Garten - the Gaelic translation would be river of thickets. The ferry was replaced by a bridge in 1898)

A further message was given to our intrepid witches and wizards, imploring them to make something more precious, beautiful and lasting than life itself. This was a quote from the one-eyed witch and architect of Waghorts Castle. This person is not named in the books, but I suspect it was actually Charles Rennie Mackintosh. In any event what was meant here is that art is within us all and while artists can use that to make beautiful things, we can all recognise that beauty and understand it.

With their numbers now reinforced with Arabella Figg, they set out in earnest on the path to the Whomping Willow. Of course, the leaves in the two photos below are not Willows, but Cherries.

They don't realise the significance of the sign to the yard. This would be Coal Drops Yard, which is a real place, but it sits very close to the,dare I say it, fictional, Platform 9 and 3/4. Could this be significant, or am I just clutching at straws?

(In fact, it actually is a reference to something of railway significance. It refers to the little white house we saw when we started heading back to Boat of Garten, but before we saw the train. The white cottage is built from sleepers and chicken wire and is thought to have been built for a railway worker in the 1920's.)

It is not long before they are on the path to the Whomping Willow, passing through the Forbidden Forest.

This notice in the Forbidden Forest talks about Capercallie, but we all know this is just a ruse to divert attention away from Parry's owl, Hedwig.

These barriers in the forest were erected by Shield Charms to prevent Hedwig being seen by any passing muggles.

 There is a bit of a suspicion of a hunchback among the witches and wizards. Could it be that Tom, the landlord of the Leaky Cauldron tavern has joined them. Is the name of the Inn a clue as to why the disappearing loch was disappearing?

 No, it is not Tom, it's Jacque with her rucksack under her poncho.

Were they being watched from the woods by Rubeus Hagrid? No, it is actually Usnea or beard lichen, but it might just have been Hagrid looking out for our intrepid band.

Disappointed that Hagrid is not there, they press on.

They pass the tall pines at the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

After their long trek through the Forbidden Forest, they stand at the Entrance Gates to Waghorts Castle. From the Castle they know it cannot be far from the legendary Vaaloch. If only they could find a sign to help them on the true route.

 Just as they reach the fabled site of Vaaloch, they spy a Red Squirrel. These are well known for being one of the corporeal forms of the Patronus Charm. You will all know that this is one of the most powerful spells available. It is extremely difficult to cast and is generally used in extreme circumstances to ward off Dementors and Lethifolds as no other form of defence will work against these particular manifestations of the Dark Arts.

Who could have cast such a charm? It could not be one of our intrepid band as they have not been studying long enough to be able to invoke an incorporeal Patronus, never mind a corporeal one.

Alemap tries to get close to find out - but it disappears in front of her eyes.

No sooner had the Patronus squirrel disappeared than the group found themselves transported back in time, to a much colder day and, indeed, the Vaaloch had disappeared. Here were the legendary black Wizards, Onid and Eulb along with their apprentices Kris, Andraa, Rarom and Boab. Had they made the loch freeze and dry up?

The water had gone!

How to get it back?

Perhaps over lunch an idea would come to them or they might try a simple spell. That's it! A simple spell. Just make it rain and the waters will return!

So they did and sure enough, that's what happened. 

Pre-spell.

Post-spell!

The Vaaloch was restored, and all because Alemap had frightened away a little squirrel. Great name Alemap, by the way. I'd follow her to the pub any day!

 They were jubilant, honest.

The water was still rising, but they had to find their way back to the platform to get to Waghorts before dark.

Off they set.

 Surely they would make better time if they used their broomsticks.

Of course they would. If only it was easy as riding a bike!

It took them a lot of trying before they gave up altogether!

Finally they marched on under their own power and soon left the boathouse behind with the water now happily lapping in all the right places. 

Ramevad tries to replicate Ron Weasley's accidental turning of a dinner plate into a large mushroom while trying to complete his Charms Ordinary, Wizarding Level exam.

 They knew they were making progress when they could see Waghorts in the distance.

 Even further on, they pass Azkaban Island.

 They make some further attempts on the broomsticks.

However, they have to give up and go on, on their own two feet.

 They come upon a poor wee dead mouse, possibly dropped by Parry's owl Hedwig as a sign, perhaps?

Or is this really a Phoenix rising up?  Another sign from Dumbledore, they think. The phoenix is the order set up by Dumbledore to destroy Volauvent, the baddy.

Perhaps that's him down there.

If it was Volauvent, then he could be there to wreak havoc on the Waghorts Express, carrying a new intake of aspiring witches and wizards to the Castle. 

Oddly, they all disappear in a puff of smoke and steam and end up back in the real world walking down the street back to their cars as if nothing strange had happened.

In truth, nothing had.

Or had it?

Was that not the name of one of the witches who made the loch disappear, but spelt backwards???.........

Without waiting to find out if it was just a strange coincidence, they all hightailed it to the Kitchen in Carrbridge for some fine cakes and beverages. Despite the weather and the weirdness, everybody professed to having a good time.