LEAPING TO CONCLUSIONS

Unfortunately, we were unable to go on the April walk as we were entertaining relations from the deep south. It is impossible for me to put together a truthful account of the walk to match the photos that Robin sent me.

Accordingly, I have decided that brevity is the best policy and I have included only a short factual description for each of the photos.

So, below we have Dave pointing out to Mac the number for Mora Yes Tates, an exotic dancer from Elgin. No discreet cards in telephone boxes here.

So interesting is the description of Mora's expertise with the local wildlife that everyone gathers round for an astonished look.

Another notice catches their attention, being environmentally friendly and only using small trees.

This being an agricultural area, there is no shortage of volunteers for the pole dancing classes run by the WRI.

There does seem to be a theme developing here already. Shall we see if I can keep it up?

A rear view of some cherry blossom.

Waters tumbling through the cleft formed by the untamed forces of nature in the raw.

 At Maureen's urging, Pam slowly removes her soft leather gloves. 

Mac and Janet watch on admiringly....

...as the Love Boat hoves into view.

A couple "fall" overboard. It reminds me of the time Wendy "accidentally" splashed me in the stream a few decades ago but you've probably heard that story before...!

That's the kind of angle we are all looking for.

The flowers of the forest.

Hmmm.

They don't get much bigger than that.

We all used to know what a young man's thoughts turn to when Spring arrives.

Oooh you are awful!

Pam only has eyes for the Bull of the Glen!

And that seems to be reciprocated!

I expect this rock formation is the result of some kind of thrusting or heaving in the bowels of the earth.

You have all seen the movie where the blithe carefree girls wander through the sylvan glade...

only for the old weird guy to start talking to himself and then things go drastically awry.

 Then they all sit down in a quiet little clearing astride some pretty big logs and the conversation drifts into sensitive territory and ...well who knows what might transpire.

Luckily, that didn't really happen. They just had lunch and then they all gathered together for a bridge photo.

 It must have been a pretty good walk, because they are still talking about it today. I can only assume that my commentary on the photos is pretty close to the truth. Unlike the interpretation of the photo below as a dragon or a bird's head or some other such likeness. How fanciful can you get?! 

EAST FIFE FOR FURTHER THAN YOU THINK!

For religious reasons and earlier than normal, we went away for the weekend. Well actually, because Easter fell when we would normally go away we had our spring break at the end of March. This time we went to Fife to walk part of the Coastal Trail. Indeed, we walked a longer part of the Fife Coastal Trail than some of us expected!

But before all of that we met up at the Upper Largo Hotel for soup and sandwiches and then off to Lundin Ladies for some golf.

On the tee, the elite group (at least, that is what they called themselves) ready to go. 

Style

Substance

Sartorial elegance. 

The wrong way to clean your ball.

Now I know where the ball is, but where are my clubs? 

Still a long way from the flag.

Getting closer.

Closer still.

Not too far now.

Got it surrounded!

Eventually the ball fell in the cup and a fun afternoon of golf was over. It was then on to Cardy Net House in Lower Largo, our base for the weekend.

And what a base it turned out to be! Modern, light and airy, but with a nod to the past - a bit like ourselves, really.

Then it was time for dinner - and it was all a case of "Here's one I made earlier."

However, Sharon couldn't resist making sure that Pam was stirring it properly and that it had been heated up to the correct temperature.

Whenever there is food involved, there is an opportunity for a photo, and here it is.

Jimmy can't cook very well (at least, that is what Jacque told me) so he decided to take the orders. That was entirely unnecessary as you just had to help yourself.

This left Pam in a quandary.

But we soon sorted it out and after Dave said grace and an unseemly school dinner rush we all got fed and watered. I have to say, also, that the food was exceptionally good as always - especially the pasta dish - whoever made that is a genius in the kitchen.

A view of the groaning board, making good use of all available light bouncing off shiny surfaces.

Mac decided that it was too much bother to lift the bottle and pour wine into his glass and resorted to snorting it straight up his nose.

Dave tasted the food, but forgot to put his tongue back in his mouth.

Robin would have liked to have tasted the lamb tagine, but had to resort to taking a photo of the empty bowl.

He was not to be wholly disappointed, as a surprise cake arrived at the table to celebrate his and Charlie's sixtieth birthdays. I was also included in the celebrations despite the incontrovertible fact that I will not be 60 for months yet.

And just to prove it, I played a marathon game of table tennis with the super-fit Dave.

As always, after dinner, some people just disappear and watch the sport on the telly.

Whilst others just get stuck into the washing up!

Hugh finds his niche in life.

Jacque and Sharon only managed to get into the kitchen to give the big boy a hand....

....after which he needed a lie down.

And, before you knew it it was Saturday morning and time to get ready for our first walk from base camp to Anstruther. Sandra holds her head in dismay when Jimmy tells her it is only a few miles to the fish and chips! Aye right.

As if to prove that it is just a short stroll, Jimmy strides past the front of base camp.

Before too long we reach the first sign that this is a proper walk - a pedestrian roundabout, where some of the party go right along the beach, whilst the law-abiding of us follow the signs and stay on the path.

However, we soon all meet up again on the beach.

Except for Jimmy, that is, who looked like a man with a guilty secret! And, indeed, he was!

Along the beach we went, passing all sorts of strange, half hidden relics of the ancient Kingdom of Fife. Was this the long forgotten throne of some ancient king? I suppose he might have been called King Sandy.

And what on earth was this? Some form of totem to ward of the evil spell which made it impossible for wee Fifers called Jimmy to accurately compute distances? If it was it didnae work!

Other relics from the past, perhaps.

After leaving the beach we gained some height. Happily not by using the chain rope that Jimmy thought would be good fun, despite some man telling us that some of the bolts holding the chain to the treacherous rocks had corroded.

Soon we were among more relics, this time dating from the Second World War.

"Where next?", the intrepid band asked.

Away down there, pointed out Jimmy the leader, who pretended not to know haw far away down there really was.

So, what goes up, must come down, so down we went.

There are a lot of golf courses in Fife - and here is another one!

It was unanimously decided that we should stop here for lunch, because there were seats and a wall to shelter us from the wind. Susan had not had a drink all day so quickly finished off a can of Special Brew.

Charlie did his imitation of King Kong, while Sandra looks away in embarrassment. Hugh just pulled his toorie over his eyes. Sue tries to phone the home.

Here we all are after lunch and ready to go again.

More rugged coast - you could tell it was a coastal path - indeed, it was a long distance coastal path!

Ruins on the coast.

Jacque weeps when Jimmy tells her we are only halfway through the walk.

Luckily, Jimmy agrees that we can all stop for a cup of tea and a cake in Elie, but not at the Elie Deli, which has a nice ring to it. See how happy we all are to be inside in the warmth sitting down.

At this point, Sue and Charlie opt for the delights of public transport and take the bus from Elie to Anstruther. I don't have a picture of the bus, but I am sure you all know what one looks like. Sue and Charlie end up in The Bank in Anstruther - which as you can see below is not what you thought it would be.

At St Monans, (aptly named), Sharon and I get the bus along with Hugh and Pam. Soon we too are in The Bank.

Eventually, the remaining walkers join us and you can see Susan giving thanks that they made it before the pubs closed.

Then it was down to the harbour to get to the famous Anstruther Fish and Chip Bar for our tea. Well that was the plan and we did get there, but it was absolutely heaving and they could not accommodate us all at once. So it was off to The Boathouse, where Mac had been hiding since getting the bus from Pittenweem. He highly recommended the beer and he was right. The food was very good too, so all in all a good end to a long day.

Here we are waiting on the bus to take us from Anstruther back to base camp in Lower Largo. Despite our best attempts, the bus driver remained the most humourless person we met on our travels that weekend - and that included a number of statues.

When we got back to base, Jimmy agreed that he had been less than clear on how far the walk was and he would abase himself in front of us for the rest of the evening. We readily took him up on that!

After a good night's sleep, the dawn broke the next day, although it was hard to tell as it remained an unrelieved grey for the whole day.

Once again, there was another long walk on offer from Kingsbarns to St Andrews. Some of us declined the offer. Sue and Charlie stayed at base to nurse some injuries. Hugh, Pam, Mac, Janet, Sharon and I went to Crail to look at the picturesque harbour. And here it is.

And here it is again from a different side, but still grey.

And here we are. Quite a lot of grey on show here as well.

Even I look grey in this photo.

Luckily we managed to find a delightful little tea shop with a great view of some hens and the grey sea.

However, our 50 shades of grey idyll was not to last. Off we went to Boarhills to meet the intrepid walkers from Kingsbarns. In fact we all arrived at Boarhills at exactly the same time and soon we were on our way to St Andrews. We soon came a cross the first of many big rocks.

This one was quite unusual when you got closer to it.

Was it an elephant or a squashed up beer mug? Or more likely, the remains of cliff and stack on an ancient raised beach. The romantic in me is going for the raised beach.

Lots of stones marked the path on one section which took us to an old WWII fortification.

And here it is, glowering at us with dark baleful eyes.

That didn't stop us having lunch, though. 

Susan, as at the last lunch stop, couldn't stop drinking. At least this time is wasn't straight from the can - she had disguised the Buckfast bottle.

Here we are all together.

Another bridge photo.

Susan is still a little unsteady on her feet.

Hugh wonders if it he can get enough signal to contact the air sea rescue.

The easy way to avoid the encroaching tide.

Well, maybe not too easy.

Another big rock. I had to be careful with my typing here.

Just when Pam thought she had negotiated all the hazards of this walk, along came the cows.

Finally, the glorious vista of St Andrews opened up before us.

Guess what day it was?

Another surprise for Pam - a chance for a photo outside her old school.

At last we managed to track down Sue, Charlie, Mac and Janet despite their best efforts. They were hiding in the back of Starbucks, where Sharon took the opportunity to show off her mud covered knee which was the result of wandering off the path and falling in the mud.

Once we picked up the cars, we were soon heading back to base for a bath and a change of clothes ready to hit the town for dinner at the Crusoe Hotel.

They gave us a room to ourselves, which was probably wise.

Then Pam and Hugh announced their engagement. Well actually, their daughter, Carly, had arranged for flowers to be delivered for Mother's Day.Pam was so excited she gave us all a fantastic impersonation of a Chinese woman.

She needed a drink after that.

How do I get out of this without being offensive?

Just be my grumpy old self and they soon go away.

And so, a meal out with friends brought to an end another great Dinosaur weekend. Well done to Jim and Jacque for organising everything except the weather. The memory of the longer than advertised walks still lingers in our bones and joints.

Finally thanks to everyone for the food, drink and company. It won't be long until November in Tomich.